i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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