His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
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