I tried to use my car keys to open my door
I just started a sentence with yellow.
i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
listen. just hotwire a car, take off the license plate, make up a new one on a sheet of paper and go the speed limit. i do it like, at least 3x a week.
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
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