i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
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