Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
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