the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
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