there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
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ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
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I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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