so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
Say something about gay babies.
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
Randomize
