Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
Randomize
