I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
Randomize
