Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
Green mimosas i think yes
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
Randomize
