the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
Randomize
