I just saw a hot homeless man
I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
Randomize
