I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
they need to just BURY HIM!
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
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They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
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We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
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