my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
I have tasted many bathrooms
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
Randomize
