Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nooo, I ran into two if my exes, both having their engagement parties at the bar. It was like a fucking Eskimo family reunion, but with more tequila.
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
Randomize