Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
I picked my nose. Flicked it. I heard it hit something. Next thing I know, it's floating around in my wine glass.
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
WHY DID YOU INVITE ALEX?!?
Because she offered to bring a keg.
And also because you fucked her in an alley last week and I'm trying to be a good friend.
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