she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
Randomize
