She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
Randomize
