Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
Thanks for feeding me more tequila shots to prevent me from trying to fight her last night. Horrible logic? Yes, but you are the best friend ever
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
We have started to decorate penises.
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
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