Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
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