ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
Randomize
