Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
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