I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
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