I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
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