I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
Panties = found
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Randomize
