apparently the 911 operator took drunk dialing waaayy too seriously
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
Randomize
