This is the prime rib incident all over again
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
I like how I get messages from eharmony at the same time I'm looking for a new vibrator. It's like the powers that be are just trying to make my life ironic.
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
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