walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
Randomize
