hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
Randomize
