Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
Randomize
