I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
Randomize
