Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
My dog just blew me a kiss. First of all I'm stoned and second of all he's a pitbull. Those aren't sexual dogs. So wtf.
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
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