the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
It all started with a game of naked twister.
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
Life update: This fucking MacBook repair guy called me over last night for a booty call and he didn’t have a condom OR a bed
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