So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
Skipping work because i'm still too drunk from last night still. got home at midnight and passed out in front of my door for 2 hours bc i couldn't find my key
had to call my rooommate to let us in. Passed out in my dress and found the key on my hair tie-in my hair- just now.
Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
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It's really awkward to greet the pastor when I know I've licked chocolate syrup off his daughter's chest.
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
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This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
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