I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Randomize
