That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
My tweets this weekend consisted of me telling every bar I went to that they were my favorite valentine. I've never felt like more of an alcoholic
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
Randomize
