I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
Randomize
