bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
Will exercising make me less horny?
Coworker just walked in thirty minutes late reeking like weed and clutching a handful of scratch-off tickets. Also, there’s still a stripper pole in my office. Happy Wednesday!
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