the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
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