Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
you never un-have a 4some
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
Randomize
