Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
Randomize
