So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
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