What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
