You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
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