i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
God I love dating single dads. They've got their shit at least a little bit together and there's always snacks after sex. #nakedfruitrollups
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
Randomize