pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
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