So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
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