doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
We named our party play list daddy issues
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize
