It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
So much Jack, so little girl.
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
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