maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
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