if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
Randomize
