I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
Randomize