Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
So some guy at the party is convinced I'm Edward Cullen. He keeps calling me "Twilight" and following me around with a stake. I'm concerned.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
Randomize