im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Randomize
