That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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